Winter can be difficult in the Northeastern part of the country. The days are short and the nights are long. Don’t get me wrong, winter is a necessary season and CAN be beautiful, it just seems to drag on forever. And if you live in Western Pennsylvania, you get the bonus of constant gray skies. Darkness takes over our once sun-filled days. Will spring ever come?

When my daughter was born it was supposed to be one of the most joy-filled times of my life. I knew adding our little baby into our routine was going to be a huge change and yield a lot of sleepless nights, but nevertheless, I would feel the happiest I would ever feel. Against all expectations, it turned out to be one of the darkest periods of my life. There was no lack of love for my beautiful girl, but there was an absence of joy. It was my winter and there was no end to this darkness in sight.

Now, let me introduce hope, faith and perseverance into my story. They were my Light. They came in different forms; the grace of prayer, friends who went through similar experience delivering words of encouragement, and signs of progress in my mental journey. About 3 weeks after my daughter was born a dear friend reached out asking how I was doing. I told her that I was struggling, and she shared that she didn’t start to feel back to herself until about 6 weeks after the birth of her daughter. I thought to myself, “I will not make it to 6 weeks feeling like this! That is 3 weeks from now!”. (spoiler alert) I survived the next three weeks, and the three weeks after that, and the three weeks after that and the three weeks after that…you get the point.

I made it through those first few months battling postpartum depression and anxiety by the unmerited grace of God and the love and support of my husband. Grace helped me maintain my faith. Grace got me out of bed each morning (and night with a hungry newborn). Grace armed me with perseverance. And grace never allowed me to lose hope.

Don’t forget to switch on the Light in times of darkness and open your hearts to the grace that pours from that Light. Surrender to faith. Winters are long, dark and cold, but cling to the hope that spring IS coming soon.